I wrote the title before I went and did any research. Turns out I'm tempted to buy the CD. To be more correct, CDs. I just can't bring myself to do it. Which is saying a lot. When I can't be talked into buying a CD, that means it really, really sucks. I buy a lot of crap.
I was watching TV yesterday. RJ was watching Josh and Drake on Nick. He left about 5 minutes into it, but I couldn't change the channel. I had to see what happened. It was actually a fairly good episode. Drake accidentally got punched by this nerd and given a black eye. Rumors started that Drake was talking trash on the nerd's sister, so the nerd punched him. The nerd went with the rumors, as they were now making him the cool kid. Drake was looked at as a loser now. I'm not going to ruin the ending for you. You'll have to watch.
I will tell you what happened to Josh though. The girl who Josh just broke up with was always hanging out with this other guy. Josh assumed this guy was her new boyfriend and that she was bringing him around Josh to make him jealous. This new guy was awesome. He wrote a book in 7th grade, was on Oprah and the President called him once. Josh got mad and confronted his ex. Turns out the dude is just her cousin. Josh then realized his faux pax. The episode ends with them making out.
I'm not here to talk about Josh and Drake though. What I'm here to talk about is one of the commercials I saw. I really need to start watching commercials more. I get a lot of good material from commercials. Like the time I saw themale guard. TiVo has stifled my writing career.
One of the commercials I saw got me excited. Family Matters is coming back to TV. So now Jill can rectify her childhood by watching it. I also did some research and it turns out the movie with Tom Hanks and Reginald VelJohnson, better known as Carl Winslow, the dad from Family Matters, is Turner and Hooch. It is a Tom Hanks movie, not whoever Mary thought it was. (Jill, I can't tag Mary in this note as we are not friends. Please tell her I mentioned her.) Hanks and VelJohnson are police partners in the movie. A dog also plays a pivotal role in the movie. As an added bonus, Craig T. Nelson plays the police chief.
I'm not here to talk about that commercial though. I'm here to talk about Kidz Bop 14. I'll just give you a brief overview in case you don't know what it is. If you want more info, ask Justin. He seems to have a lot of info on Kidz Bop for some reason.
All Kidz Bop is, is kids singing hit songs. Not the bands that originally sang the song, kids. I don't get it.
I went and checked out kidzbop.com, so I would know that I was talking about. I kind of felt like Chris Hansen would be walking into the room any minute and asking me what I was doing as I browsed around the site.
After browsing the site, i checked itunes to see if I could listen to some sound clips. I had heard some of the songs on the commercial, but the stupid guy was talking over them, so it wasn't the same. To my delight you can find Kidz Bop music on itunes. I listened to a few songs. I was pleasantly surprised. They were actually kind of good. In a weird way. I couldn't get over the pedophiliac nature of the songs though. And the fact that they have an ensemble of kids on all the choruses.
I don't know who buys this crap. Apparently someone is though. The commercial I saw was for Kidz Bop 14. That means there was 13 that preceded it. It gets worse. There is more than 13. There was: Kidz Bop 80s Gold, Kidz Bop Country, Kidz Bop Gold, More Kids Bop Gold, Kidz Bop Christmas, The Coolest Kidz Bop Christmas Ever, A Very Merry Christmas Kidz Bop, Kidz Bop Halloween, Kidz Bop Hanukkah, A Kidz Bop Valentine and Kidz Bop Sports Jamz.
I'm not counting those, because I'm not lame, but that is a lot of Kidz Bop crap. Stop buying this crap or this is never going to end.
The worst part of Kidz Bop 14 is the guest "artist". He isn't an artist. He's a loser. I know he's a loser because he was homeless and living on the street a few years ago. "But Marty, he believed in his music dream so much that he was willing to live on the street until he made it." Shut up, you're an idiot. He didn't believe in his dream. He quit on his dream so he could get off he street. He took advantage of a crappy music system that allows you to just steal a song and turn it into a hit. He knew he wasn't going to make it with his music, so he quit his dream and stole a song.
He stole one of the greatest songs of all-time, the only song to be in the top 10 in two different decades. All he did is say "beautiful girl" and "suicidal" a few times and somehow this made it to the number one song. Are you retards? That songs sucks ass. Sean Kingston knows it sucks. Why don't you? You must be the idiots out there buying Kidz Bop.
At least Sean knows he is a no talent. He's trying to cash in while he can. If he had real talent he would not be appearing on a CD that has little kids singing hit songs by real artists.
The only redeeming quality of that suck ass song is that now I can say that "Stand by Me" is the only song to chart in the top ten in three different decades. But If I do that I also have to admit that pile of ass exists.
What's next Sean? "Under the Boardwalk" and "My Girl" have some catchy bass lines. Throw in some "pretty girl"s and "depression"s and you have yourself a hit.
Really people? Number one. That songs sucks ass. You people sicken me.
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