As a lot of you are already well aware, I do stuff. If you aren't already aware, let me be the first to tell you. I do stuff. But it's not the doing stuff that is important. (At least not for purposes of this. Actually for whatever purposes the stuff probably is irrelevant and not important.) It's the things that I observe while doing this stuff that matters. Whether it be dull and mundane or hilarious, I observe a lot of things throughout my day. We all do. I just happen to be better at it than you. So that's why I'm here, to tell you about my recent observations. Most of which are boring and mundane.
Observation 1:
Truck drivers are nice. I was traveling out to Mendon the other day. I saw the niceness of truck drivers first hand. It was in a rural area, so I was the only other car around, except for two trucks. Here is the 411.
There is this intersection. The east to west traffic, no stop sign. The north to south traffic has a stop sign. There was this semi with two trailers sitting at the stop sign. He was traveling north and waiting to go straight through the stop sign. What he was waiting for was another semi with two trailers. He was traveling east. Here is where the problem comes in. The semi traveling east wanted to turn right at the intersection. He'd have to made a wide right turn. The sign on the back of his trailer reading "Wide Right Turns" was forcing him to. He doesn't want to get busted for false advertisement. The semi going straight was in his way though. So what happened? I'll tell you next week.
Actually I'll just tell you now. If I make you wait you'll just go to the Marty's Weblog Spoiler site and read about what happened before I get to tell you.
That semi going straight backed up about 200 feet and let the the other semi turn. Then I got to thinking. Why didn't the semi going straight just go across the intersection instead of backing up? There were no cars in the way. Now I don't know whether truck drives are nice or jerks. On on hand, maybe the driver going straight said, 'here buddy, let me back up and get out of your way'. On the other hand, maybe the driver turning right said, 'yeah, you are going to need to back up and get the hell out of my way so I can turn'. I just don't know. This is one of those in-answerable questions where it doesn't really matter what the answer is. Yet the answer couldn't matter more.
Observation 2:
Have any of you noticed the change in uniforms at Wal*Mart? The change actually occurred quite awhile ago. I remember when it did. I knew someone that worked their during the change and they were ecstatic when the change took place. Really, that's the kind of crap you get excited about? That's how I remember the Wal*Mart uniform change. A time that I remembered that I know a lot of idiots.
I never really noticed the change until yesterday. Now I have a problem with the change. If you didn't know, everyone now wears these dark navy blue polo shirts. There isn't even a big logo or anything to distinguish them. It's just a small embroidered Wal*Mart emblem over the breast. They blend in with everyone. It's confusing.
People now think that everyone wearing a polo shirt works there. I know because I saw it first hand a while ago. I watch as some lady asked two people within in 15 seconds if they knew where something was. Both replied that they didn't work here. That lady seemed surprised and puzzled both times. What were these two wearing? Polo shirts. One was dark red and the other was a pale yellow. Not even close to Wal*Mart colors, but how was this lady supposed to know they didn't work there? You can't tell anymore.
The greatest part is when this other lady came over and told her that she thinks that guy down there works here. She went and asked him if he knew where her item was. She got the same answer that she got from the other two men. At least she got the color right this time. Or she would have had they not changed the uniform color. This guy was wearing a light blue polo. The color of the old Wal*Mart uniforms. Of course they are dark navy blue now.
I can't get used to the color change. Yesterday I saw some guy organizing toothpaste on the shelve. It was the weirdest thing I ever saw. Turns out the toothpaste organizer worked there.
Observation 3:
Opening the doors for girls, an act that should be encouraged. It can go too far though. I witnessed door opening gone too far the other day while at Jamba Juice.
This kid was walking in. There was a girl behind him. He opened the door, only he didn't walk in. He stepped out of the way and held the door open as the girl behind him walked in. What is that? This guy is an idiot.
Actually that didn't happen. No it did happen, but it should have happened. What should have happened is that I shouldn't... Nevermind, just act like this paragraph and the one before it don't exist.
Opening car doors for girls, I'm a fan of it. I don't do it, but I'm a fan. I'm such a big fan of it I'll clap occasionally when I see. I saw something at Jamba Juice the other day that didn't make me want to clap. In fact I wanted to boo and tell this guy he sucked. I could have punched him in the face and not thought twice about it. He deserved it, he's an idiot.
Let me just say this to all the fellas out there. If she is driving, do not under any circumstances, ever open her door. In fact, don't even walk on the drivers side of the car just to stay safe.
Sadly I was never able to give this kid that advice. He instead made himself look like a complete idiot. First he stood behind the girl as she unlocked the driver's door. Then she had to step to the side as he opened the door. She got in and then he had to walk around to the passenger side
It was the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. The most pathetic part is that this kid is going to keep doing it. So please, if you see this kid, shoot him. In fact shoot any guy you see opening the driver's door for a lady. Actually not just a lady, shoot him no matter who he is opening the door for.* You don't have to kill him, just injure him. If you want you can just shoot them with a tranquilizer dart.
And for all the ladies out there. If you are driving and some guy opens your door. Just drive away while he is walking to the passenger side. It's for the best. He wasn't worth it anyway.
*Disclaimer: There is one, and only one, instance where it is all right for a guy to open the driver's door for someone. That is if the person is sloppy drunk and has trouble getting into the car by themselves. In fact, you should probably go help them get the drunk person in the car.
There you have it. All my observations of the last month.
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