Originally Posted: October 1, 2007
You know how sometimes you think your phone is vibrating in your pocket? Then it turns out it wasn't and you were just feeling things. So you try to pull off the I was just checking the time thing. Don't try and act like this doesn't happen to you. I came across a Facebook group the other day related to this issue. There is about 5,000 people in the group. Everyone would be in the group except they thought their phones vibrated right before they pushed the join group button. Then by the time they realized it wasn't vibrating they forget what they were doing.
Like everyone else, I too think my phone vibrates when it really isn't. It's gotten to the point that when I'm at work I take my phone out of my pocket and set it on the desk. It had just created too many problems. I was constantly pulling out my phone to see who was calling me or texting. Only to see that it was no one, again. I was taking my phone out and putting it back in my pocket so many times, the back of my hand was beginning to get raw from the constant rubbing on my pants. So I now just set my phone on the desk. But a new problem has arisen.
I now think I hear my phone vibrating all the time.
I'll just be sitting there at work doing whatever it is that I do there and I'll hear my phone vibrate. I'll glance over at my phone. It's just a blank screen. Its not enough that the screen on my phone is blank. I have to pick the phone up and flip it open. I just have to make sure that the phone is not malfunctioning. Maybe I really did get a call or text and the front screen just chose not to show this. So far this scenerio has happened zero times. But one day, when it does happen, I will be ready.
So this takes me to last night. I'm at The Cube, in the living room, by myself, I think Family Guy was on, when all of a sudden.... UUUHH, RRRR, BBZZZ... What's the onomatopoeia for a vibrating phone? Whatever that onomatopoeia is, that's what I heard.
Now this was strange. My phone was downstairs in my room. I sat in a bewildered trance for a bit. I snapped out and just shruggred the faux vibrate off.
(Insert onomatopoeia for vibrating phone here)
There it was again. This time I knew I had heard it. There is no way that sound wasn't real. But my phone was still downstairs. Where was it coming from?
I thought. Then I thought some more. Laughed at a joke on the Family Guy, then immediately returned to thinking.
Then I realized something. The vibrating sound was a bit muffled. Almost like it was coming from the couch. It all made sense. There had been quite a large gathering over the night before. One of them must have lost their phone in one of the couches. This was my time to shine. I, yes I, was going to be a hero. I was going to find the phone and get it returned to the rightful owner.
I started throwing off couch cushions. Stuck my hand in every crack and crevice. I couldn't find that phone. After about 10 minutes of this I realized something. There was no phone. It had been a day since anyone had been over. Surely we would have gotten word that somebody may have lost their phone at our place by now. I wasn't going to find any phone.
The only thing I was going to find is all the crap we drop into the couch. And I found lots of that. The majority of this crap? Popcorn kernels. This means that Justin, yes you Justin, has the responsibility of cleaning out the couch. As he is the main culprit of the dirty couch.
Grammar Lesson:
Onomatopoeia: the formation of a word, as cuckoo or boom, by imitation of a sound made by or associated with its referent.
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