Marty's Musings of The Random Kind

Originally Posted:  July 20, 2007

I was taking my walk last night, something that was only supposed to be a couple times a week thing, but somehow turned into an every night thing, when I came to an important realization. I have no friends. Actually I come to that realization with every walk I take. Last nights realization was much more important than that. 

An hour and a half into my walk I was nearing the start of the last leg of my walk. I call it the last leg of my walk, but there is still 40 minutes left once the last leg starts. That's right, I walked around for two plus hours last night. What you going to do about it? Laugh? 

The first of my walks is always different but the last leg is always the same. My last leg starts with going up the stairs on Old Main, walking up to the Golden Toaster and the back to The Manor, a.k.a my place of residence. Meandering my way through campus the whole way. The first leg of my walk on this particular day included me aimlessly walking my way as far as 400 west. 

Kinda lame, I know. But that's how the rest of this is going to go. So if you don't like it, then just skip ahead to the next musing. 

Back to my realization. I was nearing the stairs of Old Main hill. It was dark and being so it made it harder for me to see. Even with this hinderance I could still see what appeared to be a heavy set man in workout attire at the bottom of the stairs. He just stared up the stairs. Appearing as if he was winded just looking up the stairs. Being a stair running veteran, I like watching people run the stairs. It lets me know where I stand compared to others. And for those that read yesterdays web log you know how much I love comparing people. 

So I watched intently as I continued to walk towards him. He just stood there at the bottom of the stairs. I was getting antsy. Just run already. Then it happened. With one movement he was off, sort of. I'd never seen anything quite like it. I'd never seen anyone move so slow. And he had just started. How was he ever going to make it to the top? Those were the questionns that ran through my head as I neared the bottom of the stairs. I fianlly reached the stairs, a full 20 seconds after the slowest man in world had started. I continued my same walking pace, taking one stair at a time. 

I reached the top a short while later. I beat him. Sure it was only by four or five stairs, but still. He had a 20 second lead, and I can run up those stairs in 30 seconds, so that is a significant lead. And I was walking and he was doing something that made him appear as if he was running. I freaking beat him. 

So there you have it, either this man runs really slow or I walk fast. That realization doesn't seem so significant anymore. 

So I've been watching Big Brother 8. This isn't going anywhere, just thought I would let you know. 

I hear Datelines To Catch a Predator series started a new season the other day. I can't believe I missed it. I'm pissed. My favorite show and I missed it. I then learned that it was on at 9. I wasn't so pissed upon learning this. You see The Wonder Years is on at 9 and 9:30. Yes, To Catch a Predator is the best thing on tv right now, but The Wonder Years may be the best show in tv history. They'll be re-runs of Dateline, but The Wonder Years is hard to come by. 

Upon watching one of last nights episodes of The Wonder Years I learned the perhaps I should be on Dateline. It was the episode entitled "Don't You Know Anything About Women?". In it Kevin needs to find a date to the dance. He wants to ask Susan Fisher, but she is dating Donald Wallach. Kevins lab partner, Linda Sloan, totally has the hots for him and wants to go to the dance with him. Even though Linda is cute and very funny Kevin only sees her as a friend. 

Kevin's best friend Paul tells Kevin that he heard from his girfriend Carla Healy that Susan Fisher and Donald Wallach broke up. Kevin finally gets the courage to ask Susan Fisher to the dance. Kevin is talking to Susan Fisher, about ready to ask her to the dance when Donald Wallach comes up and drags Susan Fisher away. Kevin is aggravated. 

Before getting on the bus to go home Linda makes fun of Kevin for not asking Susan Fisher. Linda suggest that since neither of them are going to the dance that they shoud go together, but just as friends. Even though Linda Sloan obviouslly doesn't want to go as just friends. Kevin agrees and Linda gets on her bus. Just then here comes Susan Fisher. She asks Kevin what he was going to ask her earlier. Kevin makes up something about the atomic weight of Berium. They then get to talking about the dance. Kevin informs Susan Fisher that he is already going to the dance. A dissapointed Susan Fisher asks Kevin to save her a dance. 

Later that day Kevin tells Paul of his situation. Paul calls Kevin a dog for having babes crawling all over him. He also tells him that he can't have two girls at the same dance and that he has to ditch one of them. The next day in chemisty class Kevin tries to weasel his way out of going to the dance with Linda. Linda sees right through him and tells him he better not be trying to weasel his way out of the dance. She already turned down Steve Padway because she was going with Kevin. Kevin decides he better just go to the dance with Linda. He goes to pick her up and she looks beautiful. 

While at the dance Steve Padway asks Linda for a dance and Kevin gives his permission. Linda is obviously grossed out by the prospect of dancing with Steve Padway. Kevin finds Susan Fisher and dances with her. After they dance Kevin and Susan Fisher are drinking some punch. Susan asks Kevin to hold her cup while she goes to the bathroom or something. Just then her comes Linda. Linda asks Kevin if the punch is for her. In a not so nice way Kevin replies, "no it's Susans." Linda looks crushed. She asks if Kevin minds if she goes and finds Steve Padway. Kevin feels horrible and tells her he doesn't mind. As Linda walks away she turns and says to Kevin, "She's not that great you know." Kevin turns around to see Susan Fisher dancing with Donald Wallach. Kevin feels as if he's been used by Susan Fisher.

Now if the episode ened there everything would be great. But it doesn't end there. It ends with grown up voice over Kevin saying something about how you are always searching for love when you are young or something like that. And then it shows Winnie and Kevin wandering around the dance looking for someone to dance with. Yet they never spot each other. 

Here is my problem. Winnie is supposed to be the "hot chick" of the show. Winnie is the ugliest "hot chick" in the history of tv hot chicks. She would be second ugliest but Topanga from Boy Meets World actually got somewhat good looking in the later years. Why would they have Winnie be the "hot chick" of the show when both Linda and Susan Fisher are considerably hotter. 

Better yet, why am I watching this episode about an 8th grade dance and the only thing I'm thinking of is who is hotter? Sounds like a job for Chris Hansen