Things Marty has never really understood and other random things

Originally Posted:  June 20, 2007

I've come across many mysteries in my life. I'm here today to tell you about some of them I've come across. 

Peeing in the dark:

Why is it that I can pee in the toilet with the lights off without missing everytime. Yet when I add headphones into the equation, not only do I miss, I proceed to pee all over my feet without realizing for ten seconds. 

This photo confuses me

The gifts you can give on Facebook: 

What are those? Why would I want to pay a dollar to send someone a stupid picture over the computer? I'm not even going to say anthing else about this. The degree of difficulty for making fun of this is 0.0, so I'm not going to do it. It's too easy.

The freak dance:

This has always been an enigma to me. When you look at it pure and simply here is what it is. "Hey baby, you mind if I rub my penis on your butt/thigh for a while?" That's it. That's all it is. Where else can you get away with this? Is it the combination of the bad lighting and music that makes girls vulnerable to letting this action take place? Try walking down a well lit street go up to some random girl and start freak dancing with her. My bet is that it ends with the police showing up and not Sting and his friends, the real police 

This seriously makes no sense to me at all. I have a hard time talking about it in a way that makes sense because it confuses me so much. What are the rules for the freak dance anyways? I once heard a girl say that she thought that the guys were supposed to umm... get excited. But one girl stopped dancing with my friend because as she put it he was having a little too much fun. What's the word on this? Does anyone know? Is there even a really concrete rule on it? Isn't the freak dance just stupid? Yes, yes it is. 

The old lady who came into the office to complain the other day:

What was that all about? When is 7:30 in the morning to early for you? You'r old. That's like early afternoon for you. What were you doing in here at like 3 for anyways? Go to bed.

Summer on the down:

How can summer be almost half over? It just started. Someone please explain to me how something that lasts three months can be half over after a month and a half. 

People that complain about you never calling:

When was the last time you called?

That's enough for now on what confuses me. Let's move on to some other things.

SOAR has kicked into full force. Monday was the biggest SOAR day ever. That was until Tuesday. Not only did we have 263 cards to make on Tuesday one of the printers broke. We got a total of 1 card out of that printer. We had to print the rest on just one printer. Needless to say we were just a little behind and had to hand the cards out later than normal. Then one dick had the gall to write on their evalution paper that their ID card was late. The printer was broken you dick. You are supposed to be evaluating the A-team not us anyways. And this kid is going to be going to college next year. 

I've officially become the old creepy guy. Last year I was just the exotic slightly older really cool guy. Now no one wants to even talk to me anymore. They usually don't even look at me. They all hate me too. They point and laugh at me and make snide remarks under their breath. I'm going to go and cry.