My Missing Something

Originally Posted:  September 4, 2007

Did you ever have one of those weeks? The good one. The one where, for the most part, everying goes great. Doesn't matter what you were doing, but everying was fun. Even when you were just sitting there. I had one of those last week. But now that I look back, somethings not there. There is a hole. Something was missing.

It was still a great week. I wouldn't take it back. There was just something more from the week that I needed. Looking back I can't figure out what it was. I have been able to figure out what it wasn't. 

Sitting on the HPER field with hundreds of people asking where others were, while waving their cell phones in the air, as I was getting stepped on while a movie plays in the background, that wasn't it. Watching the football team lose another game wasn't it either. Watching Matt play Zelda for 10 hours didn't fill the void. Neither did dressing up in my clothes that I call '80s clothes, but I'd really wear any day of the week.

I thought for sure this is what was missing from my week, but it wasn't.

I did go to Bear Lake on Monday. That's the first time I've been there since My Drive last summer. Maybe all the memories that came with that left the hole.

One thing I do know is that thinking about the void isn't going to help fill it. So maybe I should stop looking for the something. Let it find me. Or maybe I'll just run into it. Like yesterday when I lost my phone cozy. Then five minutes after I stopped looking, Bam! There it was in my pocket. 

I'm not saying that what I'm looking for is in my pocket. Although it would be easier to find it was. So I'm going to stop looking, because maybe it is staring me right in the face and I just can't see it. Or maybe it's looking for me and by searching for it, I'm out running it. 

Whatever it is that I'm missing, I don't care anymore. Perhaps that's what I've been missing all along. Leaving behind the feeling of missing something.