This Is The Kind of Stuff That Keeps Me Up At Night

Originally Posted:  October 23, 2007

Have you ever been in one of those situations where as cool as it was you wish you could have seen it from someone else's shoes? I had one of those the other night. 

I was watching Friday Night Lights Sunday night with my friend Megan, when I should have been over at Emo's birthday party. But like I told Emo, Friday Night Lights is the best show on tv right now and there is only two people that can compete for my time when the other choice is watching Friday Night Lights. And even those two people would probably lose out. 

When the two episodes we watched had ended I got prepared to drive Megan home. Only living a block away, she had walked over. It was cold now, so I was driving her home. Not realizing that the car was going to be just as cold and would not warm up on the short drive. But without me making the decision to drive her home, hilarity would not have ensued. 

We walked outside and instantly I heard a peeing sound. I didn't think anything of it until I saw some guy just standing there with his back to us. He was standing in the grassy/weed area behind our house, just 2 or 3 feet beyond the parking lot.

"Who's that?" Asked Megan.

"I don't know," I said. I couldn't recognize him from the back at least.

"Is he peeing?" She asked.

"Think so."

We continued to talk about him until we got in the car. He had to have heard us, he was only 10 feet away. Not once did he ever acknowledge that we were there though. Didn't say anything. Didn't turn his head. Nothing. 

I turned my car on and with it the lights. Turning the lights on only confirmed that he was peeing. He was standing right in front of the car, so he now had a spotlight on him. 

So there we were. Me and Megan laughing in the car. Some random guy holding a cell phone up to his ear with one hand and his penis in the other. 

He still hadn't moved this entire time. He had to know we were there, unless he was blind and deaf. Then it came, movement.

The shake and zip. 

Quite impressive really, as all of this was done with one hand while he continued to stay on the phone. Or at least act as if he was on the phone. 

With the shake and zip over I at least expected him to turn around and acknowledge that we were there. But he didn't. He just stood there, with his phone to his ear. 

The show over with, I decided it was time to drive away. 

I've been doing some thinking and the whole thing is driving me crazy now. I know what I was thinking. Who is this guy? Why is he in our backyard? Why is he peeing in our backyard? Why is he acting like he doesn't know we are here? Why is he peeing and talking on the phone?

But what I want to know is what was going through his head at the time. It's driving me crazy. So if anyone has any information on the random guy that peed in the backyard of the house located at 676 E 600 N on Sunday night around 11 pm, please let me know. I have some questions for him.